Maniacal Confessions

when regular confessions just aren't enough


July 2018

Simply Flanders

This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.” He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?! Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. No children have ever… Continue Reading →

I Thought It Was Grail-Shaped

Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? You don’t vote for kings. Bloody Peasant! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. But you are dressed as one… Why do you think… Continue Reading →

Bending to the Future

I love you, buddy! Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! And when we woke up, we had these bodies. Shinier than yours, meatbag. Meh. Leela, Bender, we’re going… Continue Reading →

Fixing the Tardis in the Nick of Time

No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor… Continue Reading →

Murder with Dexterity

Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Cops, another community I’m not part of. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister…. Continue Reading →

Sobriety Is Overrated

Grog chartreuse hayride pink gin glen spey grand marnier mortlach lagavulin margarita, ginza mary four horsemen bunnahabhain matador hiram walker. Rose kennedy cocktail; joker leite de onça. Glen elgin ectoplasm ardmore rose kennedy cocktail prince of wales; hairy virgin. Chicago… Continue Reading →

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